Tuesday, February 06, 2007

So, I'm sure everyone's heard about this by now, but Boston freaked out.

What happened is that, like in several OTHER large cities across America, someone left lots of blinking LED signs in conspicuous, public places in Boston. These signs bore clearly the likeness of popular Aqua Teen Hunger Force character Ignignot, and were placed as a kind of guerrilla marketing technique to promote the Aqua Teen movie coming out soon.

(Aside: The title of the new movie is "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon: Movie Film for Theaters". Awesome. :)

When this happened, in Boston, Boston had a shit fit, deciding that the innocuous blinking signs, ubiquitous across America, needed to be taken out by SWAT teams and Bomb Squad. Not because Boston is secretly like you and I, and simply made a mistake, but because that sort of thing is the rule rather than the exception for this city. Look it up, and you'll find a history of Boston blowing things so far out of proportion that they end up Euler bottles, their exteriors twisting in and fusing with their very cores.

Enough with the Penny-Arcade style. :)

What I really take issue with is the fact that Turner Networks, the parent company of Cartoon Network (and thus, Adult Swim), made this big, public apology to Boston and paid them a million dollars in pain and suffering money.

That's right, and because I want this fact to hit you in the face again, I'll repeat:

Boston's overreaction got them paid to the tune of a million smackers.

And, yeah, those BS and SWAT guys don't get sent out much in Boston, I'm sure, and I'm betting the city had to pay their salaries somehow for the officials' little unecessary tirade. But it is genuinely offensive, it is sickening, to me, that their sanctimonious idiocy resulted in a decent network, parent company of an AWESOME network, handing over a MILLION DOLLARS and a public apology for something that several other cities across the US had no other problems with. And maybe Turner can afford it, but Cartoon Network can't, and if Adult Swim had to pay I'm thinking it would hurt them just a little.

It's just so stupid, so juvenile, such B.S. I wish we could boycott Boston in return, but that's kinda difficult. Maybe at least it'll become a pop culture phenomenon, kinda like the way some people label anything disdainful as Canadian. Maybe people will start to walk around calling people not "spaz" or "tool", but "Bostonian".

You suck, Boston, for not getting the joke when everyone else did, then whining about it and bending over backwards to put on a show, then getting paid for your retarded efforts like a whiny also-ran in a footrace of three-year-olds, demanding a trophy for being special.

Goodnight. :)

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